Wednesday, September 16, 2015

English Explained



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.


2) The farm was used to produce produce.


3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.


4) We must polish the Polish furniture.


5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.


6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.


7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.


8) I did not object to the object.


9) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.


10) They were too close to the door to close it.


11) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear


12) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


13) I shed my clothes in the shed.


English is a fascinating language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgin, you cannot buy threshers in Threshers. The Superdrug chain is not at all super.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

One index, two indices? If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And finally, when you want to shut down your computer, you hit "START."

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Welcome to English at LERNFORUM Chur.  We teach English one to one or in small, personalised groups at every level and for every English language need. Cambridge and Swiss qualified, we're mother-language speaking, and most importantly, have a passion for helping you speak English.

Word of the Month

Holy

(adj): Sacred, divine, blessed.


Holiday: a holy or festive day; a day off, vacation (also sacred)


Expressions: Holy Cow! Literally true in India.

Ex: Holly Mackerel! Delicious, healthy and full of mercury.

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